I had to pick a picture from the writing slides.I choose the shot gun guy.I imagined that I was the shot gun guy shooting to the target.
Shot Gun Guy
N.L:To paragraph
R.T:Use the key about the topic in follow up sentences
I was sweating with fear as my tongue dried up.
The gun was so heavy that it was hard to lift .
I was scared that I would let the crowd down.
The target was so tiny that it was hard to aim.
I took out my first bullet and then I felt that my nerves had calmed down again. I loaded it into my gun. I loaded a few more.The crowd went silent watching me as I loaded each one. I shot my first bullet. It was storming through the air like a lightning bolt ready to burn something.Bang when I heard the first bang I was full of courage. Bang bang went the bullets, the crowd went wild. I was full of joy.
I really loved this piece of writing Sneha. You have used some great describing words and as the reader I felt like I was transported to that moment in time. Next time remember to add a description on what your post is about, e.g. This week we are writing about a moment in time from a picture.
ReplyDeleteIt's great Sneha! It's very descriptive, but the part where one of the sentences started with 'alas' I don't think It needed it.
ReplyDeleteOkay I will remember to put description at the top.
ReplyDeleteI will also remove the Alas part
ReplyDelete